


Lucidity

by Euleogy



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/F, Just another Modern Girl dealing with Thedas' shit tbh, OC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-09 00:14:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4326399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Euleogy/pseuds/Euleogy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elisabet Amelphine, born in the year 1997, age 18. Finishing high school, applying for colleges, and trying to save up for her own car. Her life wasn't ideal, but it wasn't bad. She was fairly well off, actually, though her parents valued hard work. The only things they'd bought for her once she was old enough to work were the things they felt she needed. They paid her phone bill, but when she wanted the newest smartphone, she'd had to save up for it herself. Her mother did value a good upbringing though. She was taught to dance, had singing lessons, and had refused to keep taking piano after her first year. She read fantasy novels for fun, and loved Jane Austen at the same time. She was torn between wanting to live in the past, and wanting to live in the future.</p><p>Elissa Amell went into the fade for her Harrowing. It was a struggle even within herself, as she could feel thoughts cross her mind that she couldn't justify. What was a lucid dream? Was a demon in her mind already? Was she going to be killed? She did manage her Harrowing, but when she woke up, it was as a spectator in her own head. She could only watch as her body was controlled by someone other than herself, and they really did seem to be dim.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dual-Harrowing

They say if you die in your dreams, you die in real life. I sometimes wonder if that's what happened to me.

 

There's only so much I have to go on. I do remember the dream though... the one I think killed me. It was strange. I moved as if in a fog, sticking my bare hand into a font of blue water. I could feel it. No, no I imagined feeling it would be a better description. I had words for how it felt, but I can't recall the actual feeling. You don't feel in dreams. It was odd though, tingly. At least, I remember thinking of tingles.

 

It was at that moment that my dream evolved, changing. I found myself in a twisting land, a desert. Not a sandy desert, but the kind like I used to live in. Ground so dry it cracks, plants were sparse and those that existed had few leaves. The land, though, was warped. It twisted and turned, defying physics.

 

The entire dream was an oddity. It was the closest thing to Lucid dreaming I'd ever have. I felt like I was in my own body, but someone else was controlling it. I'd have moments of lucidity, but then I felt confusion as if I hadn't meant to speak, or move in that way.

 

I met a man. He called my dream a Harrowing. I'd never thought of naming my dreams. I remember then I had a moment of lucidity, asking him why he called it that. I felt confused, because I knew. I did feel like I knew, but I didn't. It was an odd sensation.

 

The man, Mouse he said, was very obliging of my questions. I found my heart aching for him. Forced into a dream to face a real threat, taking too long, and having his body killed. It sounded terrifying. I felt that same fear for myself, though I couldn't place why that fear was so real. I kept trying to tell myself it was only a dream.

 

Only a dream as I approached a silver wraith who identified as Valor. Gave me a staff, after I'd beat him in a duel. Only a dream as Sloth gave me riddles. Taught a Mouse how to be a Bear. Only a dream as that Mouse told me about the fade, about the Harrowing, about the Circle, about the mages.

 

We did a lot of walking, actually, Mouse and I. Occasionally a wolf spirit or a wisp would materialize into existence, attacking. I dispatched them easily enough. I feel like I should mention that though it was me in this dream, I had no more control than one normally would when they were dreaming. You remember the dream, remember your part in it, but it's a dream. You had no control. You were along for the ride, being told the story as much as if you had no part in it.

 

I remember my dream though. Better than even some of my real memories. It was vibrant, alive, it felt real. Even now, when I'm not in that dream, I look back and wonder how I could have such a waking dream when I wasn't in control. I always thought you had to be completely lucid to have such exquisite dreams.

 

Meeting, and then fighting, my demon was easy enough. In a moment of lucidity I retained enough of myself to wonder if this was my subconscious' way of dealing with something. It was the first time I'd had a dream like this though.

 

To discover Mouse's deception. Oddly I was at peace with that. He might've been an Apprentice at one point. Perhaps he'd lost to the pride demon, and the demon used his form and his memories to try to ensnare me. I felt for him, and for the other apprentices he would also ensnare. Then he left, and I awoke, slowly, to the sound of a voice that I did not recognize.

 

 


	2. Mages and Templars and Wardens, Oh My!

 

“Hey... Elissa... Are you alright? Say something, please....”

“Wha-....”

I was not in my bed. I was not at my home. I remembered the dream as if it had been another memory, as if I had truly been in that place, the Fade. Was I still in the Fade?

“Where am I?”

 

I sat up, looking around bewildered. The man who'd woken me told me to be calm, and breathe, only to then pester me. The Harrowing. That dream. Mouse had called it a Harrowing. He said I was in the dormitory. Looking around, there were bunk beds in neat rows. I saw several other people who all looked to be about my age, college age, I suppose. The clothes were all identical though. Uniforms, of robes. They were fairly comfortable, though my legs already felt too hot.

_'What's going on?'_

That thought... didn't feel like mine. The voice. It had a voice. Like when I'd play pretend as a little girl, working the voices over in my head. I controlled them though. This one surprised me. It... it was me, but not me.

He'd asked me a question. The Harrowing. Right. I must still be dreaming. I was completely lucid now though. I couldn't tell. I really couldn't. I had to be dreaming though. That was the only explanation for how I could go to bed and wake up somewhere else. Only explanation short of an incredibly elaborate kidnapping. Would anyone notice I'm gone? My parents would, but not for a few days. I'd just started to get settled into the dorms at school. Wait, he'd asked a question...

_'The Harrowing. The test. Into the Fade. Fighting temptation.'_

 

“The Harrowing. Right. Well. It was... Harrowing?”

“Is that why they won't tell us what the test is about? What it even involves? I know, I know, you're not supposed to talk about it, but please, Elissa, we're friends. Just give me a hint, anything, and I'll stop asking, I promise.”

I didn't even know his name. We were friends? No. No, I had friends. I could remember my friends. This man must be involved in whatever was happening.

 

“Look... I don't know who you are. I really don't. One minute I went to sleep, and then I was in this strange desert place. It was like a lucid dream, I guess. I couldn't control my own body though. I don't know you, or this place. I'm telling you my parents won't pay any ransom, if that's what you're hoping.”

I turned and walked away from him, though if you asked where I was going, I couldn't have said. The floors were stone, the walls were stone, there were no windows. It was like a cave. I wondered if I was underground. It made sense. If I were kidnapped, it'd be harder to find me if I was underground. I walked through a door into a large, well lit hallway, the man trailing after me.

 

“Elissa, are you alright?”

“I'm not Elissa. My name is Elisabet. I don't know who you are, or how you think you know me, but you don't. Where am I? A real answer. City, State, hell, what country is this?”

He furrowed his brow as I stopped walking and turned around to face him.

 

“Elissa-bet. I... we should go talk to Irving. This is... not normal.”

“Elisabet. It's easy enough to say. Who is Irving? What's not normal? I went to bed, and then I wake up here? Where. Am. I?”

He gripped my upper arm, dragging me behind him to whoever this Irving was. I tried to get out of his grip, but it was surprisingly strong for someone who looked so.. lithe. Letting him drag me, I surveyed my surroundings. More stone walls, with wooden beams overhead from which hung chandeliers. Was this a castle? There did seem to be windows, against the ceiling. The stone walls had decorative inlays, though the floor was as even as possible. Even still I found myself tripping here and there, though considering the urgency with which I was being dragged, I figured that wasn't entirely my fault.

_'Jowan. He's scared. Poor Jowan.'_

Jowan? Was that this man? What was going on?

We burst through a door, where there were three men. One in Armor, one in robes, and another in... Well, I suppose it was armor but it wasn't the large kind. It fit him rather well.

 

“First Enchanter Irving, I think something is wrong with Elissa. She... she doesn't remember me. She's speaking nonsense.”

The three men had been having a rather heated discussion, but stopped as we entered the room, but at our entrance, they turned, giving us their full attention.

 

“Jowan? What are you talking about?”

Jowan. Definitely this man then.

_'My friend.'_

No. Not my friend. What was going on?

 

“It's Elissa. She woke up, like you said she would. She seemed fine, but now. She remembers the Harrowing, but not me!”

“Calm down, Jowan. Elissa, come here.”

I shook myself from Jowan's grip, stepping forward, looking at the faces around me. Two men in medieval armor, and a old man with a stick on his back. It was like a crazy LARP in a real castle.

_'Be calm.'_

It was much harder to be calm when I was hearing a voice that was my voice, but definitely not my voice. My mind was racing, reeling. I was lost, confused. I just wanted to wake up. I wanted to be home. This was strange, and cold, and not familiar.

_'Breathe and apologize. Act. You can pretend, can't you?'_

The voice. It was right. I could act. Just. It was like the drama class I'd taken back in middle school on a whim. Improv!

 

“I'm sorry to have caused concern. I'm just still reeling after my Harrowing is all.”

I tried to copy the accent I'd heard in my head. It just seemed to be your average English accent.

Even as I spoke, Irving rested his hands on the sides of my head, I could feel... something. Almost a tingle. I furrowed my brow, watching Irving's facial expressions. He looked over my features, as if trying to see an imperfection before he turned to the man in large armor.

 

“There is nothing in her. She's not an abomination. The Harrowing is a stressful time. I suspect she will come to herself with more rest.”

I turned to look back at Jowan, who was just nodding his head slightly. He gave me a grin, a small one. I turned back to Irving.

 

“I'm sorry to have caused alarm.”

Irving only shook his head.

 

“I had wanted you to come when you woke anyway. Elissa, this is Duncan, of the Grey Wardens.”

Did I know about Grey Wardens? Was I supposed to?

_'Barely. They fight creatures. Darkspawn. Why is he...?'_

 

“Creatures... Darkspawn... Is that why he's here? For... Darkspawn?”

At this, Duncan spoke up.

 

“In a way. There's a horde of Darkspawn to the south of Ferelden. We're going to meet them at Ostagar. I was here a little while ago, recruiting mages for the army. I was hoping to inspire more of a movement to battle.”

Ferelden... Ostagar. Context, they were places. Cities? States? Ferelden could be a country, but Ostagar shouldn't be. Countries are too big to meet at. Must be smaller. A city, probably.

 

“Ah... I see.”

Good. Noncommittal answer. Pretend you know what they're talking about.

_'I do know what they're talking about.'_

I shook my head, banished the alien thought from my mind.

 

“First Enchanter Irving...”

I hope I got that right.

 

“Was there anything else you needed from me?”

“No, I just wanted to congratulate you on your successful Harrowing. You can go rest, or study in the library. The rest of the day is yours.”

Duncan cut in, adjusting the sword at his side.

 

“I think that sounds like a good idea, Irving. I'll retire to my quarters.”

Duncan, his name was? The Grey Warden.

 

“Child, could you manage to show Duncan to the guest's quarters? You remember where they are, don't you?”

No.

_'Yes.'_

 

“Of course, First Enchanter.”

I hope dropping the name like that is okay. Just... fake it 'til you make it, right?

_'Odd saying.'_

I turned back toward the door. Jowan hovered there, like he wasn't sure what to do. Jowan. He was a friend. Hopefully. I stepped forward, gripping his upper arm and taking him into the hallway. I didn't look to see if the Grey Warden was following. In a hurried whisper, I nudged Jowan a bit ahead of me.

 

“Well, to the Guest Quarters then, yeah?”

“Elissa.... you....”

He seemed to take a moment to make his decision before nodding, turning and gesturing. I stepped into the lead uneasily.

 

“On we go.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll go ahead and get it out there that I don't have a beta on this (or well... any) work. So, if you're interested, I'd love to work with someone.


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